When did money become my boss?
We distrust what we don’t understand.
On the surface, this article might look like it’s about credit unions, banks, and financial literacy.
What it’s really about is shame, confusion, powerlessness, and why so many smart people avoid money conversations altogether.
Most people think they’re bad with money.
Irresponsible.
Or that money is just “beyond their control” — and there’s nothing they can do about it because they’re just not privileged like that.
But the truth I’ve learned is this:
If money feels like it’s the big bad boss that dictates your life, it’s because you’re still acting like its employee.
And it’s not your fault. You’ve been operating in a system you were probably never taught to understand.
Most of us learn money habits from our parents, our friends, and whatever the people in suits at the bank tell us to do. And unless your parents retired as millionaires, it’s likely they didn’t fully understand the system either — they just learned how to survive inside it.
So no — you don’t distrust money because you’re irresponsible. You distrust money because no one ever taught you how to have a good relationship with it.
People don’t trust what they don’t understand.
My hope is this article helps you understand your relationship with money a little better, so you can start acting like its boss — not its employee.
This is for you if…
You already feel behind in life (especially compared to where your parents were at your age).
You feel embarrassed admitting you don’t understand money.
Or if you’ve ever thought “I’m bad with money” or “I don’t want to look stupid.”
I’ll be the first to say it
I grew up with a negative relationship with money.
I felt like money ruled my life — like I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do unless I had much more of it.
I’ve always distrusted bankers, because I assumed that when you do transactions with a bank, the bank always wins.
And honestly, I still feel overwhelmed by topics like mortgages, interest rates, and investments.
But one of the most mind-shifting lessons I’ve learned over the last year is this:
Your financial situation is a reflection of your relationship with money.
Skepticism comes from confusion. And you can’t have a healthy relationship with something you don’t understand.
That’s the point of this article.
Because while there is some truth to those beliefs I just shared, the underlying problem here was me.
My limiting beliefs.
The stories I told myself about what my life could be.
That realization made me curious whether my experience was unique — or if this is how most people feel about money.
I’m not a finance expert, so I asked one
Greg Cook is the CEO and President of the University of Toledo Federal Credit Union, a company with over $100M in assets.
Honestly, I was surprised he agreed to such a candid interview.
I expected a financial CEO to be guarded.
To dodge questions.
To speak in a vague, polished language.
Greg was the opposite.
People don’t trust what they don’t understand.
“A lot of people don’t grow up learning much financial information — compound interest, mutual funds, different types of investments and loans.
These are very important life skills, and school doesn’t really teach us this stuff.
You don’t know what you don’t know. And a lot of people get into tough situations because they didn’t know what questions to ask — or that they should be asking questions at all.
When people walk into a car dealership, they don’t even think about asking about things like interest rates, or if their credit union could give them a better deal on a loan.
Take your shot! That’s my biggest piece of advice,” he said.
Greg used to be clueless too!
“The first time I got interested in learning about this, I was in the Marines.
A friend of my mom, who was a financial planner, suggested I look into starting up an IRA retirement account and sent me some information.
It basically showed that if I were to save $2,000 a year over the course of my lifetime, I could have $1M saved up in these investments.
Then, I talked to a buddy of mine — a fellow Marine — and I said, ‘Look at this. You can save this up and have a million dollars.’
And he said, ‘Oh, that’s a scam!’
Because a lot of us don’t grow up learning financial information.”
This one idea kept coming up again and again in our interview. The moment something feels confusing, we assume it’s unsafe.
Confusion creates fear → fear creates inaction → inaction creates worse outcomes.
When people don’t understand money, they avoid it. And when they avoid it, decisions get made for them — not by them.
Where I’m at now with this
Starting a business forced me to stop avoiding money — and to turn it into something I could work with, question, and use intentionally.
I learned how to do something valuable and charge for it.
I learned what it means to make a profit.
And I learned that most things in the world of money are negotiable, if you’re willing to ask.
And in the process, it forced me to confront my relationship with money too.
Most people don’t start businesses because they want all the money.
They do it because they want freedom — to earn, spend, and use money on their own terms.
That’s been a huge revelation for me: having the confidence to earn, give, and use money on my own terms.
I used to buy into the whole “that’s just the way it is” story.
“Some people are just better with money — that’s just the way it is.”
“This is what people pay for things like this — that’s just the way it is.”
But here’s a better question:
What if that’s just what people accept because they don’t ask questions?
I have never ever once regretted asking the bold questions.
Asking someone to explain it again.
Asking if there’s another option.
Asking what I’m missing.
I don’t distrust bankers anymore because I no longer outsource my understanding.
I started here
Right now, we’re hiring a general contractor to help us build our house.
I already know the contract he sends will be full of words I don’t understand.
And instead of pretending I do, this is what I’ve started doing with all contracts:
Copy the entire agreement.
Open ChatGPT, and enter this prompt:
“This is a contract from [person] who’s helping me with [project]. Please read the agreement, and translate it into 6th grade language. Then, point out the sections I should ask clarifying questions about.Paste the contract.
I can guarantee I’ll have questions at our next meeting.
Because when it comes to big topics like business, house-building, or money — understanding is worth the effort.
For you…
Knowledge really is power. So if you feel like money holds power over you, start learning. Change the power dynamic.
The next time you’re talking to a banker, a financial advisor, signing an agreement, or making a big payment — take this as your permission slip to ask the dumb questions.
They’re not dumb.
They’re how you stop being the employee in your own life.
When money becomes your employee, it doesn’t get to intimidate you.
It works for you — but only after you understand what you’re asking it to do.
If you want to hear more of this conversation, here’s the full interview with Greg!
(You can also learn more about Greg’s work here!)
Watch here on YouTube.
Listen here on Spotify.
Personal update
Here’s another example for you guys of the kind of home we’re working on building here in Manitoba.
If you live in a cold climate, imagine seeing more houses like this around — where people can enjoy nature year-round!
If you’re new here, my husband and I are building a tropical greenhouse business in the middle of cold-ass Canada—an oasis where we can enjoy nature, even in -40°.
If you’re into that, and want to be part of the journey, come along with us!
Know a local business owner who needs more customers?
That’s my day job — reply here and tell me about them!
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and want real talk from people actually doing it…
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Great read 📚 👍
Never heard about better reasons to ask "dumb" questions. Who ask leads - even if the questions are uncomfortable or unusual. And the results are often only visible later...
Yeah, it’s amazing how much progress can come from simply admitting we don’t know everything. Better to be clueless than a know-it-all —and who knows where it might lead us.